The Quote That Made Me Stop Competing



I know it's been much, much too long since I wrote a Motivational Monday post, or any post about self-confidence, inner beauty, and/or self-love. So today I wanted to finally get back to what I love most about blogging and social media - sharing real words, about real life, that hopefully many of you can identify with. I want you to leave Pardon Muah on this beautiful Friday feeling like you can conquer the world... or hey, maybe just today! I want to lift the weight so many of us feel from... drum roll, please...

COMPARISON.


Several weeks, maybe even months now, ago Justin, his brother, and I were sitting in our living room eating pizza and watching Chef's Table on Netflix. I know this is already sounding really random right lol? 

Who knew an episode of Chef's Table would share with me a wisdom that would allow me to create more freely, think clearer, and step out of the influencer competition. 


Okay, let me explain...

Who here feels like they compare themselves to others on social media?
(queue pretty much every hand in the room)

It's almost impossible nowadays not to compare. It's human nature. And with the help of the gram, tweets, pins, snaps, posts, and more the comparison game is always on. Always. Unless you disconnect frequently, which most of us do not, you may not even know it's happening. It's so easy to get caught up in the must-haves, who-has, who needs, I-wants, flashy vacations, free trips, "perfect relationships", new outfits, luxury bags... the things that you should have but don't have but will have one day. 

OMG, isn't is all exhausting trying to keep up?

I watch my friends, followers, fellow bloggers and influencers every day competing with each other. For more likes, more comments, more free stuff, more recognition, a bigger piece of the pie or maybe just a piece at all.  

And I have to be honest, it's tiring just to watch. 

Quick clarification: there are plenty of things we all do the same or want that are the same, and that's okay! If you see a girl with a pink unicorn tee and you want that tee, girl go buy it! If you see a shade of lipstick that beats every nude you've ever used, girl go wear it! The whole point of being an influencer or blogger is to share the things we love in the hopes others will identify with us and love the same things too - to help you make outfits, and find new home decor, and to create a community of like-minded women and men who promote positivity through engagement - even shopping lol. 

It's also important to note that influencer/blogger marketing is becoming a mainstream way of advertising for companies due to its relatable nature and proven success. Which is amazing to see as a content creator in the industry... but because it's becoming so much more true to life than traditional magazines and commercials the impact hits home even harder. 

The comparison problem happens when you start to feel less than. You start to feel less worthy, less pretty, less confident. You feel an expectation to have and to need things and do things because that's the "popular" thing or the "in" thing... and you know what...?

You may not even LIKE pink unicorns!


Alright, alright you probably think I've just derailed completely. Comparison, Chef's Table, pink unicorn tees... where is this girl going? But, really, where is she going...?

For all of you who feel weighed down by comparison (of any and all sorts), I completely understand. Trust me, it's no different when you're a part of the blogger scene. It might be even worse. Throughout my blogging journey, which is still very young, I've felt saddened, disheartened, frustrated, and annoyed when I can't compare. When I don't have enough likes, enough engagement, when someone with fewer followers gets 200 more comments than I do on the SAME outfit she saw me wear first. Come on gals... you feel me haha?


But that night we were watching Chef's Table a light bulb moment happened. Something in my brain disconnected and something else clicked. Truly.

We were watching an episode about this incredible female monk named Jeong Kwan who has become a master of cooking through meditation and nature. 

She said this:


“Creativity and ego cannot go together. If you free yourself from the comparing and jealous mind, your creativity opens up endlessly. Just as water springs from a fountain, creativity springs from every moment. You must not be your own obstacle. You must not be owned by the environment you are in. You must own the environment, the phenomenal world around you. You must be able to freely move in and out of your mind. This is being free. There is no way you can’t open up your creativity. There is no ego to speak of. That is my belief.” - Jeong Kwan (quote taken directly from here).

(insert light bulb moment)

I'm not sure why this quote struck me so strongly at the time. Maybe because I was struggling with creative comparison or maybe I was just captivated enough by her story to actually listen. But it really left an impact. I've internalized this quote and it's meaning for some time now knowing I wanted to share it and to write about it because it made me feel so free. 

It made me realize that the only way I can truly succeed, to be my truest self as a creative, is to let go of the comparison, the ego, the pressure. Once I don't feel weighed down by what I should do or didn't do that everyone else is doing, I can be free to be myself without feeling less than. Once I can feel happy for others who are succeeding or doing things I aspire to do, I can be free to allow myself the creative space to get there in my own way. And that's what I hope for all of you. To be able to only let comparison fuel a fire to succeed and not one to compete or to copy. 

Let us compare to be kinder, to be nicer, to be more loving, more understanding. 

Do the things you want because you want to do them. Go to Fashion Week because it's fun and exciting, go to a conference so you can learn all that you need to succeed, take a sponsored trip with friends to the beach because you value their company and their like-minded engagement. Buy the unicorn tee because it makes you so happy every time you wear it you smile. Do the things because you dreamed it, worked for it, created it. 

Am I making sense? Boy, I hope so. 


As the saying goes, "Be yourself; everyone else is taken." - Oscar Wilde


To all of you who read along, follow along, know me, message me, are a fellow blogger, fellow influencer, friend, acquaintances - THANK YOU for letting me share with you every day. I hope my posts and content will bring inspiration and happiness even at the most basic level of pumpkin spice lattes and too much Fall decor (and yes, a perfect example of something basic that is totally part of my creative repertoire lol).


Happy Friday!
#caredontcompare

2 comments

  1. I feel like it is SO HARD not to feel less than when looking at everyone else’s social media. Thanks for being so real Amanda! PS - did you put up lights around your camp site?? So cute :)

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  2. Thank you for sharing. That is such an insightful quote coming from a place of self-awareness I hope everyone will be able to obtain at some point. I'm not a blogger or social media influencer, but have thought of attempting, honestly just to see. But, I've been too afraid to put myself out there. I am my biggest obstacle. This quote is going somewhere that I can read it every day.

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